Welcome back to our October Shadow Work series. Today, we're confronting a behavior that is deeply rooted in our shadow: harsh judgment. It’s easy to dismiss a quick, critical thought about someone else as a minor reaction, but these judgments are actually a direct line to our unacknowledged shadow.
Our journal prompt for today is: "Who or what do I judge harshly? What does that say about me?"
Think about the people or situations that you are quickest to criticize. Is it the person who seems too flamboyant? The colleague who is too ambitious? The family member who is too emotional? The friend who is "lazy"? Notice the specific traits that you find fault with. This isn't about shaming yourself for having critical thoughts; it's about using them as powerful tools for self-discovery.
In the world of shadow work, this concept is known as projection. Projection is the process of disowning an aspect of ourselves and then seeing it as a flaw in someone else. The person or thing we are judging is a mirror, reflecting a part of ourselves that we have rejected.
For example, if you find yourself constantly judging people who are loud and attention-seeking, it could be a sign that you have a repressed desire to be seen and heard. You might have been taught as a child that it's better to be quiet and unassuming, so you pushed your own desire for attention into your shadow. Now, when you see someone else living out that part of themselves, it triggers a strong, often angry, reaction.
Similarly, if you harshly judge someone for their perceived "laziness," it might be a reflection of a part of you that desperately wants to rest but is driven by a powerful inner critic that says you must always be productive. The judgment of others' laziness is a way of reinforcing the very belief that is causing you stress.
The gift of this prompt is that it reframes judgment from an attack on others to an invitation for self-awareness. It's a key to understanding what parts of yourself you have pushed away. The energy you use to criticize others is the same energy that is locked away in your own shadow, waiting to be reclaimed.
This doesn't mean you have to become the person you judge. It means you can look at the trait with curiosity instead of criticism. You can ask, "Where does this quality exist in me?" and then begin the process of integration. You might discover that the "flamboyant" part of you is actually a wellspring of creative expression, or that the "lazy" part is a deep need for self-love.
This week, let's commit to using our judgments as a guide. By bravely looking at what we condemn in others, we can finally begin to embrace all the parts of ourselves and move from a state of external criticism to one of profound self-acceptance.
If you want more tips and support, find me on TikTok, find me on TT:@ starseedsarah. Let's continue this journey to balance and purpose, and let our energy show what we choose to focus on – success, love & courage!
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