Let’s be honest — shame is a heavy emotion. It sits deep in your chest, whispering things like, “You should have known better,” or “You’re not enough.” And once it settles in, it can color how you see everything — your choices, your relationships, even your sense of self.
I know that feeling all too well. Shame can make you want to shrink, to hide parts of yourself that feel “unacceptable.” But here’s the truth: healing doesn’t happen by hiding. It begins when you start meeting yourself with gentleness — when you choose gratitude and self-compassion over self-judgment.
That’s where real transformation begins.
When you’re sitting in shame, gratitude might feel like a far reach. But gratitude isn’t about denying pain — it’s about widening your perspective. It’s looking at your life and saying, “Even here, there is still good.”
Gratitude grounds you in what is true and present — the small moments that still hold light. The friend who checks in. The morning coffee that warms your hands. The fact that you’re still trying — still showing up for your own healing.
Each time you find something, however small, to be thankful for, you gently loosen shame’s grip. You begin to remember that your worth was never dependent on being perfect.
If gratitude opens the window, self-compassion lets the light in.
Dr. Kristin Neff, one of the leading voices on self-compassion, describes it as “treating yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend.” Think about that — how differently would you speak to yourself if you did?
Self-compassion doesn’t excuse mistakes; it embraces the humanity in them. It says, “I’m learning. I’m doing my best. And even in my messiness, I’m still deserving of love.”
When you combine gratitude with self-compassion, you create a powerful inner healing environment. Gratitude softens your focus outward — reminding you of what’s good. Self-compassion softens your focus inward — reminding you of who you are. Together, they dissolve the shame that says you’re not enough.
Here’s a little practice that’s helped me:
When you notice shame rising, pause. Take a deep breath and whisper, “It’s okay. I’m allowed to be learning.” Then name one thing — just one — that you’re grateful for in that moment.
It doesn’t have to be profound. It just has to be true.
When you notice shame rising, pause. Take a deep breath and whisper, “It’s okay. I’m allowed to be learning.” Then name one thing — just one — that you’re grateful for in that moment.
It doesn’t have to be profound. It just has to be true.
That simple act begins to rewire your emotional patterns. Over time, it teaches your heart a new story — one where you are safe, seen, and worthy of compassion.
Healing shame takes time, but every act of gratitude and kindness toward yourself is a step closer to freedom. You don’t need to fix yourself — you only need to remember that you were never broken.
If this idea of energy and flow resonates with you, you’ll love my post Why Self-Acceptance Is the Deepest Form of Gratitude, where I talk more about how embracing yourself creates emotional freedom.
If you want to explore more ways to build a gratitude mindset, here are a few tools that can make the practice simple and enjoyable:
- The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown – an empowering reminder that you don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love.
If you want more tips and support, find me on TikTok, find me on TT:@ starseedsarah. Let's continue this journey to balance and purpose, and let our energy show what we choose to focus on – success, love & courage!
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