Welcome back to our October Shadow Work series. Today, we're diving into one of the most powerful forces that shapes our shadow: the fear of judgment. We spend so much of our lives curating an image, a persona that we believe is acceptable and lovable to the world. But what lies beneath that carefully constructed surface? What truths do we hide out of fear that they would make us unlovable, unworthy, or "too much"?
Our journal prompt for today is: "What do I fear others would think of me if they knew the real me?"
This question can feel heavy and uncomfortable. It asks us to confront our deepest insecurities and the parts of ourselves we have labeled as flaws. As we go through life, we're often given the message that to be accepted, we must be a certain way—successful, kind, confident, and without any "messy" emotions. This leads us to build a public self and a private, hidden self. The gap between these two is where our shadow thrives.
Think about the parts of you that you keep hidden away. Is it your messiness? Your moments of weakness? Your fierce ambition? Your need for validation? The "real me" you're afraid to show might be the part that is sometimes selfish, sometimes angry, or sometimes deeply insecure. It might be the part of you that feels immense sadness or the one that is prone to making mistakes.
The fear behind this hiding is often rooted in core beliefs we've carried since childhood. We fear that if others knew the "real" us, they would:
- Reject us: "If they knew I was sometimes petty and jealous, they wouldn't want to be my friend."
- Judge us: "If my family knew about my secret doubts and anxieties, they would see me as a failure."
- Disapprove of us: "If my partner knew my true desires, they would think I'm selfish."
The great paradox of this fear is that while we believe we are protecting ourselves by hiding, we are actually causing ourselves harm. The energy it takes to maintain a persona is exhausting. It creates a feeling of being inauthentic and disconnected from our own lives. We never get to experience true intimacy because we're always holding a part of ourselves back, fearing that if we are truly seen, we will be abandoned.
Shadow work isn't about becoming perfect. It’s about becoming whole. The goal of this prompt is not to validate your fears, but to shine a light on them so you can begin to question their power. Those judgements that you think others have of you might be the same things you are secretly judging yourself on. By simply naming what you fear others would think, you are taking the first step toward releasing yourself from the burden of their potential judgment. You are reclaiming the parts of you that have been exiled and inviting them back into your life with compassion.
As you sit with this question, remember to be gentle. This is a brave and vulnerable act. The most liberating discovery you can make is that your value is not dependent on the approval of others, but on the courage to embrace all of who you are—flaws and all.
If you want more tips and support, find me on TikTok, find me on TT:@ starseedsarah. Let's continue this journey to balance and purpose, and let our energy show what we choose to focus on – success, love & courage!
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