Beyond the Glare: When Others Hold Up a Mirror to Our Shadow
Welcome, fellow travelers, to our journey into the depths of shadow work! As the days shorten and the veil thins, we’re inviting you to turn inward and explore the hidden corners of your psyche. Shadow work isn't about becoming a darker version of yourself; it's about integrating all the parts of who you are, bringing them into the light, and ultimately, becoming more whole.

For our first dive into this transformative practice, let's tackle a universally relatable (and sometimes uncomfortable) experience: the trigger. You know the feeling – that sudden surge of irritation, anger, or judgment when someone else does or says something. It could be a colleague boasting about their achievements, a friend who constantly seeks attention, or a family member who seems overly critical. We all have those moments when another person's qualities just seem to rub us the wrong way, sparking a reaction that feels disproportionate to the actual event.

Today’s journal prompt is: "What qualities in other people trigger me the most — and how might those qualities exist in me?"

This isn't about blaming yourself for your triggers. It's about recognizing them as invaluable signposts on your journey of self-discovery. When another person's trait elicits a strong emotional response in you, it often serves as a powerful mirror, reflecting an unacknowledged part of your own shadow.

Let's unpack this. Imagine you find yourself constantly annoyed by people you perceive as arrogant. Their self-assuredness grates on your nerves, their confidence feels like a personal affront. Take a moment to sit with that feeling. What specifically about "arrogance" bothers you? Is it the perceived lack of humility? The assumption of superiority?

Now, for the courageous next step: How might a form of "arrogance" (or the underlying desire for it) exist within you? This isn't to say you are an arrogant person. Perhaps you have a deep-seated desire for recognition that you've repressed, fearing it would make you seem conceited. Or maybe you've been taught that humility is paramount, causing you to shrink from asserting your own worth. The irritation you feel at someone else's perceived arrogance could be a yearning for you to step into your own confident, self-assured power, a power you've been afraid to claim.

This principle applies to a multitude of traits. If you're constantly frustrated by indecisive people, perhaps there’s a part of you that struggles with making choices, or perhaps you yearn for more flexibility that your own rigid decision-making prevents. If you're bothered by people who are overly emotional, it could be a sign that you've suppressed your own capacity for deep feeling, deeming it a weakness.

The beauty of this exercise lies in shifting from judgment to curiosity. Instead of focusing on what's "wrong" with the other person, we turn the lens inward and ask: "What is this trigger trying to teach me about myself?" By acknowledging these reflections, we begin to integrate these disowned parts of our personality. We retrieve the energy we've spent repressing them and can consciously choose how to express these qualities in healthy, empowering ways.

This week, pay close attention to those moments of irritation. When a trigger arises, pause. Instead of reacting outwardly, ask yourself: "Where in me does this live?" You might be surprised by the wisdom your shadow holds.

If you want more tips and support, find me on TikTok, find me on TT:@ starseedsarah. Let's continue this journey to balance and purpose, and let our energy show what we choose to focus on – success, love & courage!


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Meet Sarah Sik

 

For so long, I was filled with anxiety.  My emotions were all over the place.  


I am a military wife and mom of two boys. 


Always needing to be braced for change filled me with so much stress and overwhelm.  My thoughts and feelings were running wild.  I felt like I was always fighting an uphill battle, and never gaining any traction.  


Then, something magical happened and things started to change.


It was like walking into the most beautiful forest and seeing the sun shining down brightly on my face as I peeked up at the sky. 


Suddenly, I started to take control and things just became clearer.   


Have you ever tried to make a change in your life, only to get a week into it and say, “I’m tired, it can wait until tomorrow.”  Only tomorrow never happens!!  Then you end up feeling guilty and down in the dumps.  


It’s time for you to step up and make some changes so you can live your most exquisite life.


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