Welcome back to our October Shadow Work series. Today, we're diving into the subtle but powerful ways we avoid our deeper truths. While we often think of avoidance as a passive act, it's actually a highly active strategy our shadow uses to protect us from discomfort. For many of us, this strategy manifests in the form of humor, endless busyness, or a constant need for distraction.
Our journal prompt for today is: "When do I use humor, distraction, or busyness to avoid uncomfortable feelings?" Here is a journal I think is fun.
Think about your daily life. Do you ever crack a joke when a serious conversation is needed? Do you immediately check your phone or turn on the TV when a quiet, reflective moment arises? Do you fill your schedule so full that you have no time to sit with your own thoughts and emotions? These behaviors are not just habits; they are coping mechanisms we’ve developed to avoid feeling something we're afraid to feel.
Our shadow, in its desire to keep us "safe," has learned that if we don't sit with our emotions, we don't have to face the pain, fear, or vulnerability they might bring. The distractions act as a buffer, a way of staying just above the surface of our inner world.
Let’s unpack this:
- Humor: A well-timed joke can diffuse tension and change the subject. But if it's our go-to response for every uncomfortable situation, it may be a sign that we're using it to avoid expressing genuine feelings of hurt, sadness, or anger.
- Distraction (e.g., social media, TV, games): In a world of infinite content, it's never been easier to distract ourselves. This can be a conscious way to decompress, but for many, it’s a way to numb out. When we reach for our phones the moment we feel a pang of loneliness or uncertainty, we are choosing not to face the feeling.
- Busyness: The modern world often praises a full calendar. But for some, busyness is a shield. If we’re always working, always planning, and always on the go, there's no time to sit in stillness with our thoughts. The fear is that if we stop, the emotions we’ve been avoiding will finally catch up to us.
The discomfort we're avoiding often holds a crucial message. It could be a boundary that needs to be set, a truth that needs to be spoken, or a part of ourselves that needs to be healed. By using these coping mechanisms, we are silencing the very part of us that is trying to get our attention.
Shadow work encourages us to become aware of these patterns. This week's prompt isn't about shaming yourself for watching a movie or being busy. It's about recognizing the "why" behind the action. By simply observing when you reach for a distraction, you begin to create a space between the impulse and the action. In that space, you can make a new choice: to bravely sit with the feeling instead of running from it.
By doing this, you'll find that the feeling, while maybe uncomfortable, is not as terrifying as your shadow made it out to be. And in facing it, you'll reclaim the energy you once spent on avoidance and move a step closer to living with radical honesty and authenticity.
If you want more tips and support, find me on TikTok, find me on TT:@ starseedsarah. Let's continue this journey to balance and purpose, and let our energy show what we choose to focus on – success, love & courage!
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