Welcome back to our Shadow Work series. Today, we are diving into one of the most powerful and repressed emotions we carry: anger. From a young age, many of us are taught that anger is a "negative" or "unacceptable" emotion, especially for women. We learn to suppress it, to push it into our shadow, and to pretend that we are fine. But suppressed anger doesn't just disappear; it turns into resentment, passive aggression, or even physical illness.
Our journal prompt for today is: "What anger have I never fully expressed? Toward whom?" If you don’t already have a journal, here is a fun one.
This question can feel both liberating and terrifying. It asks you to go to the source of your unspoken rage—the frustration with a demanding boss, the hurt from a friend's betrayal, or the deep-seated resentment toward a family member who wronged you. This isn't about giving yourself permission to lash out at the people in your life. It's about giving yourself permission to feel it.
The reason we repress our anger is often tied to a fear of what will happen if we express it. We might be afraid of:
- Hurting others: We fear that our anger is too big, too powerful, and that it will cause irreparable harm to a relationship.
- Being rejected: We worry that if we show our anger, we will be seen as "unstable," "difficult," or "unlovable."
- Losing control: We're afraid that if we let go, we will say or do something we will regret.
- The other person's reaction: We're afraid of their anger, their silence, or their judgment.
The problem with this repression is that anger is a vital emotion. It's an alarm system that tells us when a boundary has been crossed, when we have been wronged, or when a need is not being met. When we silence our anger, we are effectively silencing our own internal alarm system. We become passive, accepting things that are not okay, and losing a crucial tool for self-protection.
Shadow work helps us to reclaim our anger. By writing down what you are angry about and toward whom, you are giving that emotion a voice. You are acknowledging its validity without having to act on it in a destructive way. This is the first step toward releasing it. I recommend keeping it in a journal, or even writing a letter that you can throw in a bonfire to release it.
You can also use other methods to safely express your anger: screaming into a pillow, punching a bag or pillow, running, or engaging in a physical activity that allows you to release the energy. The goal is to let the emotion move through you, not get stuck within you.
The benefits of this healing are immense. By reclaiming your anger, you reclaim your power. You'll find yourself setting clearer boundaries, expressing your needs more assertively, and living with a greater sense of authenticity and integrity. This week, let’s commit to giving our anger a voice—not to harm others, but to heal ourselves.
If you want more tips and support, find me on TikTok, find me on TT:@ starseedsarah. Let's continue this journey to balance and purpose, and let our energy show what we choose to focus on – success, love & courage!
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