Welcome back to our Shadow Work series. So far, we've explored our triggers, emotional reactions, and the fears that shape our lives. Today, we are going to the very core of much of our suffering: the story we tell ourselves about why we are not enough. This isn't just a fleeting thought; it’s often a deeply woven narrative that dictates our choices, our relationships, and our ability to experience joy. It is a program or story that you have more than likely told yourself since we were young.
Our journal prompt for today is: "What's the story I tell myself about why I'm not enough?"
The feeling of "not enough" is a universal wound. It can whisper that you're not smart enough to get the promotion, not thin enough to be loved, not creative enough to start a project, or not strong enough to handle a challenge. The feeling is painful, but the most important part of this work is to go beyond the feeling and find the story.
The story is the "why." It's the narrative you've constructed to explain the feeling. For example, the feeling of "not enough" might be explained by the story:
- "I'm not enough because I failed at that one project in college, and that proves I'm not capable."
- "I'm not enough because my parents were always so busy, and I learned that I wasn't important enough to get their full attention."
- "I'm not enough because I'm not as productive as my friends, and that means I'm a failure."
These stories are often built on isolated events or painful childhood experiences. They are not truths, but rather survival scripts written by a younger part of you trying to make sense of a difficult situation. The problem is that we continue to believe these stories long after they have stopped serving us. We carry them into our adult lives, where they become a powerful, self-fulfilling prophecy. We stay in jobs we dislike, avoid new opportunities, and settle for less than we deserve, all because we believe the story that we are not enough.
The power of shadow work lies in its ability to deconstruct these narratives. This week’s prompt is an invitation to bring your story into the light. By writing it down, you are taking it out of the shadowy, unconscious realm and placing it on the page where you can examine it.
- First, identify the feeling. "I feel like I'm not enough."
- Then, find the story. "The story is that I have to be perfect to be loved."
- Next, question the story. Ask yourself: "Is this really true? Is there any evidence to the contrary?" You will likely find a mountain of evidence that proves the story is a lie, because these stories are just that, stories. So go out there and find the evidence of what really IS true, focus on that and create a new story!!
The ultimate benefit of this practice is that it gives you the power to rewrite your own narrative. The feeling of "not enough" may still arise, but you will no longer be ruled by the story that explains it. You can begin to replace it with a new, more empowering truth: "I am a work in progress, and I am enough exactly as I am." This shift from a place of fear to a place of radical self-acceptance is the true healing promised by shadow work. The book, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown would be a good read to go along with our work here.
If you want more tips and support, find me on TikTok, find me on TT:@ starseedsarah. Let's continue this journey to balance and purpose, and let our energy show what we choose to focus on – success, love & courage!
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